Is it a case of you either Thrive or you just die into insignificance? Its a strange one isnt it. I was just thinking about how you are either completely thriving at life one day, then the next you can be dying into the sofa at home, huddled under a blanket feeling completely miserable and empty, despite having a tonne of friends, great work mates, a job (or 3) but you just want to curl up and sleep.
Its so peculiar i almost cant put my finger on why you can feel like this. I sometimes think that people assume if you are single and social that you’ve got the boxes ticked. People with husbands and children always comment that it must be great to be able to do what you want when you want with no one to answer to, but there isn’t anyone to do anything with at all. Its kinda boring. Unless you seek out almost a new group of single friends. Not that you want to replace the old ones, but it can feel very lonely. Its like you dont want to bother your friends with families as they are always so busy. And that is totally cool, im so proud of my friends for creating wonderful relationships and having the most beautiful children on the planet. But gone are the days of midweek drinking and shenanigans, here are the times of planning a catch up 6 weeks from now as its the first time that more than 2 of you are available to do something. Its sort of like you’ve been left out of the family life, and you are still stuck in single club. A club that no one else is in.
Then someone catches your eye, and you get that super nervous thing going on. Where you cant actually talk to them and you say something stupid and act like a tool because lets face it, you don’t want the rejection of someone laughing in your face. Even if they might not. Might not, probably will though. Then you still look like a prat as you go bright red, say something completely not like anything that you would ever say normally in a normal situation!! Then you spend hours discussing with your friends the ins and outs of a ‘what did that mean’ ‘does it mean this or that’ and basically driving yourself into a twister of emotions and self doubt!
Older and Wiser?
I also think that when you are older and single, you become so much more picky about what you want, as such. Kind of like you’ve waited this long that you might as well stick it out a bit longer…. hoping that someone worthwhile will come along…..
Kisses, j x